Saying 'no' is a 'yes' for you!

Freedom grants the opportunity for greater meaning, but by itself there is nothing necessarily meaningful about it. Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in one's life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom,  a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or one person. 

The belief that we should try to be as inherently accepting and affirmative as possible, say yes to everything and everyone and so on.  But we need to reject something. Otherwise, we stand for nothing. If nothing is better or more desirable than anything else, then we are empty anf our life is meaningless. 

The avoidance of rejection is often sold to us as a way to make ourselves feel better. But avoiding rejection gives us short-term pleasure. To truely appreciate something, you must confine yourself.

The act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative values. If I'm choosing to judge myself based on my ability to have open and accepting friendships, that means I'm rejecting trashing my Friends behind their back. These are healthy decisions. That rejection is an inherent and necessary part of maintaing our values, and therefore our identity. We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing, we essentially have no identity at all. 

Rejection is an important life skill. Nobody wants to be stuck in a relationship that isn't making them happy. Nobody wants to be stuck in a buisness doing work they hate and don't believe in. Nobody wants to feel that they can't say what they really mean. 

Honesty is a human craving. But having honesty in our lives is comfortable with saying the word 'no'. Rejection actually makes our relationship better and lives healthier.